What we are today comes from the thought of yesterday, and our present thought build our life of tomorrow.. INSYAALLAH~~
2011's Lessons
- I learned something about self pity. I’m not saying that everyone else had it easy. It’s just that I’ve had it worse because every time I think that it’s very tiring or I’ve put so much effort or I wanted to smile so badly but I just have to sigh or in simple words, my life sucks, I start looking at everyone else and hate myself for thinking my life sucks in the first place.
- I learned that, an offer to help is not a comment of weakness. Sometimes, we are just too ego to ask or even to accept any help thinking that it may ruin our credibility. Well, maybe there are certain occasions where people help because they see us as incapable of doing something, or maybe they help just to help themselves feel good about themselves… Mmmmmm, then again we can’t never tell. It’s no more than just assumptions.
- Hence, the next lesson that I learned here is that when it comes to assumptions, then just give other people the benefits of doubts (BOD). After all, that’s what Islam taught us, to avoid negative thoughts (su'u dzhon) and think nicely of others(husnu dhzon).
- I learned that we should never regret any of the decisions that we have made, because at that point of decision making, that was the best solution that we can come up with based on our limited experience.
- I learned that, sometimes truth can hurt so badly. So, unspoken truth or acted lies (to cover up the truth) may not be such a bad idea, not that I want to live in self denial, but if it is for the better good then I’ll go for it.
- I learned that, knowing what’s wrong and just talk about it will not make a difference. Making it right however will. More often than not, we just love to make ourselves full time member of ‘lajnah’ complain. One may get amazed at how competent sometimes people can be at spotting weaknesses. Guess it’s just nature, to spot a tiny black dot on a large piece of white paper. It’s true that we do need complains for our improvement, but as someone who’s supposed to be of high academic qualification, is complaining the only thing that we can do? I mean seriously, can’t we do something about it. Maybe, if we spend less time complaining during the making of ‘the problem’ then we won’t have the problem in the first place.
- I learned that I couldn’t stand getting mad at people without getting sick. I just have to stay calm and pretend not to see or hear anything that would upset me or make me mad. Guess I just have to adopt that “Don’t know, don’t care” attitude and just smiles, because smiling makes everything hurts less.
- I learned that a strong desire to do something good despite our weaknesses to actually doing it will make the path a lot easier.
- I learned that all of our ‘InsyaAllah’ can be used against us in the Day of Judgments if not done well. So, maybe it is best to think twice before we decide to break a promise (even a minor one), or to leave the work that has been trusted to us or to take things lightly or not putting our best effort in carrying out our job. Every ‘InsyaAllah’ should be followed by hard core effort, it should be followed by ‘itqan’.
- I learned that we just have to put our differences aside and start to look for common grounds if we want to work together especially for a good cause. We may not come to a good term due to the differences but diversity is inevitable, we just have to live with it. I’m sure we are all smart enough to make full use of the diversity, once we see it. But what keeps us blind? Mmmm… the answer is within ourselves.
- I learned that challenges in life can be harsh and cause great pain sometimes. Learn it first hand this year, for this is a year of tears, a year of loneliness and a year lack of smiles but these hardships made me closer to Him. Because, I learned that “when I feel all alone in this world and there’s nobody to count your tears, just remember no matter where you are, ALLAH KNOWS” and everything else matter less. For that, I don’t mind living it all over again.
- I learned that I can be a bit hard-headed sometimes. It’s really hard for me to ask for help, though I do wish for some help, simply because I’m afraid that I might get hurt even more if I’m turned down and I might burden others. It’s even harder for me to express my feelings especially when I got angry, it’s really hard for me to say anything, I would rather keep it to myself hoping that time will heal it but it just eats me up from inside out. In fact, there’s this one person who said (text actually) some sort of “if you got hurt by a person, then just tell him/her. How can someone knows if he/she has hurt you if you don’t tell him/her?”. Well, one should know if one makes a mistake without being told, if not then, just be it, I don’t want to make that person fell all guilty by telling him/her right on the face. Mmmm, guess I don’t really learn anything from this =.=’
- I learned that there’s no such thing as sacrifice because how can we sacrifice something that we don’t even own in the first place. We are just giving the things (time,love,money etc) that we once borrowed to it’s rightful owner. So, don’t worry about that loss for there’s something much better in store for us. In fact, the more we give up provided it’s “lillahi ta’ala”, the more we will gain. It’s some kind of ‘barakah’. I mean if we do something in His cause, insyaAllah He will make ease for us. Alhamdulillah, this year despite all of the hardships I manage to get more than I’ve expected.
- I learned that we should never take people for granted because everyone wants to be appreciated. So saying “Good job, big clap, congratz, thank you, sorry” means a lot because no matter how much people love you, people get tired eventually for feeling under-appreciated. If we are feeling under-appreciated, it doesn’t matter, because we can just reward ourselves, give a pat or two to ourselves because we deserve it. That’s the way we do it!! Yeahhhh!!
- I learned how to lodge a police report after losing my purse in Tanjung Malim. That sure was something. It made me realize that I’m a big girl already (for taking action on my own of course, not for my carelessness of losing the purse T___T)
- I learned that sometimes people find pleasure in learning from books or other people’s experiences because they are too afraid to take the risk to learn it first hand. I know that “Smart people learn from their mistakes. But the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others”, but seriously it’s just not the same. We may have all the theories and knowledge but if not put to a test then theories stay as theories, in fact it may not even be applicable in the real world. So, just go out there, experience it ourselves, there’s really nothing to lose. (This only applies to certain occasions)
- I learned that sometimes we compromise too much just to fit in. Astaghfirullah.
- I learned that there are so many good people in the world and I love to be around them. =) I know that I’m constantly making mistakes. I may not be perfect from the outside, far from perfect inside but I’ll never stop trying to be better and, I’ll never stop praying that one day I will be one of them.
- I learned that I still haven’t learnt the essence of why do people become extremist in certain things? Why do people take things for granted? Why is it so hard for some people to give their best shot? Why do my things keep missing? Why is life so confusing? Why is everyone so different? Why am I different? (well, maybe not this one, because Allah made me different and special, and I’ll never ask Him why, simply because I just love being different ^^) The point is, I learned that I have so much more to learn from everyone.
- I learned that "People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway,If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway,If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years building, others could destroy overnight. Build anyway.If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.Give the best you have, and it will never be enough for some. Give your best anyway.Because in the end, it is between you and Allah SWT. It was never between you and them anyway.”
What past has passed and what will be will be.
2010's Lessons
1. I’ve learnt that there’s only bittersweet moment, never bitter nor sweet moment alone. These two comes together to complement one another. There’s always sorrow in the midst of happiness and likewise. So, there’s no point in being devastated when we’re sad and feeling overjoyed when we’re happy.
2. I’ve learnt the meaning of failures this year. Never have I had this kind of failure in my life before and it is indeed something hard to handle. Frankly speaking, failing my driving tests twice before passing the third was something. Heheh.. I guess, there’s always first time for everything right. I still can’t help myself laughing at this one but one thing for sure, one thing good about failing is that you’ll remember not to FAIL again.. you’ll try your best next time, not to fail.
3. I’ve learnt that success means nothing once you fail.. All that you’ve worked for and achieved means nothing in other’s eyes once you make mistakes or fail. But it doesn’t matter, because in the end it’s not the compliments from others that we seek for but everything we did, our effort, succeeding or failing, is just for one reason, to please HIM.
4. I’ve learnt about the price to pay for knowledge. Normally, I would learn this from the hardships faced by Muslim scholars in the past in their quest for knowledge from book. But this one, I learned from some school boys in which at this age would normally could not care less about knowledge except to pass the exam but not to them. They came to me, asking me to teach them for they couldn’t afford any tuition. They don’t even have proper reference book to refer to, they came to me with just a note book, hoping to learn something. They came to my house right after finishing extra classes from school and would spend hours at my house before going back right before Maghrib for they have night classes to attend. Even I wouldn’t spend that much hours studying, but they would. Why? Their answer : they learn as IBADAH and they believe that knowledge is the only thing that can change their lives, and wouldn’t surrender at any cost in their quest for knowledge for Allah helps those who help themselves. This made me somehow ashamed of myself for not putting much effort to gain knowledge, the way they do….
5. I’ve learnt that there’s always others who deserve what I’ve got more than I do. But they didn’t get it for the same reason why I got it. It’s ALLAH’s way to test us..
6. I’ve learnt that there’s no point in having joy that we can’t share with those we love. The same goes when we can’t share our feelings or problems. It really hurts a lot not to be able to tell your friends about what your joy or news is, as we’re afraid that we might offend them or trouble them in any way with the news.. So, we just keep everything to ourselves.. mmm.. but somehow it eats us from inside..
7. I’ve learnt that there’s no point in holding grudge and hating others. Hating others will only hurt you more. I’m supposed to learn this lesson last year but then, I guess I had not learnt enough. Hopefully, this will do me good. “Hatred is a curved blade. The harm you do, you do to yourself”
8. I’ve learnt the joy of being a teacher and being appreciated. I’m far from being a good teacher, I realized that, but I tried my best to be one. What I got from my “students”, the school boys who I’ve mentioned earlier was a big fat THANK YOU and 2 kg of sugars. It may sound absurd and funny to think of getting such thing as gifts but it was one of the happiest moment in my life receiving something from these boys who couldn’t afford anything more, but still give me something as a token of appreciation. Indeed, it’s not the gift, but the thought that comes with it that matters the most. They’ve taught me a lot more than I taught them. They taught me to appreciate anyone who’ve done good deeds in the best way you can, even if ‘sugar’ is the only thing you can afford to repay the good deeds.
9. I’ve learnt that there’s no such thing as succeeding alone. If you succeed while most of your friends don’t, you fail. In fact it creates greater pain seeing our friends losing the battle than enjoying our own ‘victory’. It makes you think that ‘I should have done something to help’ even though you’ve already done your part in helping them. Still, you can’t help but blame yourself.
10. I’ve learnt how SMALL I am when I met various people ; those who are academically brilliant, good at sports, extremely good in manners, Hafiz and Hafizah and even someone who can’t even read. There’s always something that I am lacking of from everyone. That’s why I believe that nobody is above anybody because no matter how good we are, there’s always someone, somewhere in this world who would be better than us.
11. I’ve learnt that desperate time calls for desperate measures. Sometimes, even someone as ‘gentle’ as me, would do crazy things.. heheh.. can’t forget the time when my friends and I help a cat that got stuck on the roof of Surau As-Saad… Thinking back, I don’t know why I did that? Mmmmm~~
12. I’ve learnt that I need my friends in my life apart from Allah, Rasul, parents and family of course. Friends are what make me who I am. I’ve learnt that I should have treat everyone especially my friends who I love so dearly better. So, thanks a million for being there for me when others don’t, thanks for your words of courage, thanks for having faith in me when others belittle me and thank you just for being as a part of my life, even if it just for a short while. ( OK, enough of this emo mode, and lets get back to serious business)
13. I’ve learnt that I should try my best to help everyone. Even a simple deed like smiling, would lessen someone’s burden, so I need to smile more. ^^, hehhe.. I also believe that Allah made us different and special with unique abilities so that we would put them to good use, not only to ourselves but also for others. With greater power comes greater responsibility, so as someone who’s supposedly have academic advantage, we should do our part to help others in our own capacity.
14. I’ve learnt that I’ve wasted a lot of my time in my life doing things I’m not supposed to do. “We use so many words but have so little to relay as angels scribble down every letter that we say. All the viral attachments sent and passionate insults we vent It's easy to be arrogant behind user passwords we invent. But on the day the scrolls are laid, with every word and deed displayed, when we read our accounts, I know, for one, I'll be afraid. That day I'll be so afraid to read, every harsh word that I've spoken - and every time I have lied. I'll be obliged to admit, I'll be obliged to submit Will I have strength owning up to each deed I've tried to hide?” I’ve learnt that I am a sinner who’s trying really hard to improve myself so as to please HIM…. But very often, i slip.
15. Above all, I’ve learnt that ALLAH gives every chances imaginable and beyond our imagination, for us to improve ourselves by learning from everything. We can learn from our own experience, from other’s who we’ve known for a long time or everyone we simply meet along our journey. We learn from books, but book is only another source of knowledge out of thousands more that people often neglected as my ‘old’ friend would put it. So, it depends on us how to make full use of those chances..
so dear me : Learn well.. learn well please....
